Disappointment, frustration, anger, anxitey, nervousness, palpitations, sweaty palms, tears, anguish, uncertainty, groans, shame, fear, obstacle, set back.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
month of trials...
Honestly, I cant believe its July already. How did the past few months zoom by so quickly?
My first year of PA school is now over and done. Now onto the clinical world, hopefully. Just have to rock these next few tests. After being on H&P for the past 2 weeks, I definitely know that I want to become a PA. I was assigned to the Urology PAs and had an amazing time learning from them, it was such a great experience that I may even consider going into Urology after graduation. But we'll have to wait and see if I find any of the other fields more enjoyable. I was completely blindsided 3 weeks ago which has made me question if this is really the career that I wanted to continue to pursue. The H&P rotation has given me a better perspective and I have learned that this is what I truly want to do with the rest of my life. Now I just need to kick some ass. :)
This past week I also got an email from him asking me back. I was a bit shocked, but not as surprised. Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all saying that I'm the greatest, definitely have many flaws. But I feel like I sacrificed many things that, in hindsight, I shouldn't have. Family but mostly friends. I encouraged him, stayed, and reassured him through his insecurities and tried to help him be a better man. There were a couple of instances that I just brushed aside, overlooked, and forgave because I was that much in love with him. While at the same time, he wasn't doing the same for me. Slowly he was showing that he didn't appreciate me, took me for granted, was controlling, didn't respect me or my parents and that it was an unhealthy relationship to be in. It took me long time to realize all of this and finally sum up the courage to enforce the split that he had initiated multiple times. He probably thinks that our split boils down to the fact that I moved away and the long distance is the reason for it. But that's not the case at all. Although I do regret all the time wasted, I still appreciate the things that I have learned from him and I have a better understanding of what I need and don't need in a boyfriend.
Not sure when the next one will come along, but I definitely know that he'll have to be a quality guy and most importantly, someone who values me. :)
My first year of PA school is now over and done. Now onto the clinical world, hopefully. Just have to rock these next few tests. After being on H&P for the past 2 weeks, I definitely know that I want to become a PA. I was assigned to the Urology PAs and had an amazing time learning from them, it was such a great experience that I may even consider going into Urology after graduation. But we'll have to wait and see if I find any of the other fields more enjoyable. I was completely blindsided 3 weeks ago which has made me question if this is really the career that I wanted to continue to pursue. The H&P rotation has given me a better perspective and I have learned that this is what I truly want to do with the rest of my life. Now I just need to kick some ass. :)
This past week I also got an email from him asking me back. I was a bit shocked, but not as surprised. Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all saying that I'm the greatest, definitely have many flaws. But I feel like I sacrificed many things that, in hindsight, I shouldn't have. Family but mostly friends. I encouraged him, stayed, and reassured him through his insecurities and tried to help him be a better man. There were a couple of instances that I just brushed aside, overlooked, and forgave because I was that much in love with him. While at the same time, he wasn't doing the same for me. Slowly he was showing that he didn't appreciate me, took me for granted, was controlling, didn't respect me or my parents and that it was an unhealthy relationship to be in. It took me long time to realize all of this and finally sum up the courage to enforce the split that he had initiated multiple times. He probably thinks that our split boils down to the fact that I moved away and the long distance is the reason for it. But that's not the case at all. Although I do regret all the time wasted, I still appreciate the things that I have learned from him and I have a better understanding of what I need and don't need in a boyfriend.
Not sure when the next one will come along, but I definitely know that he'll have to be a quality guy and most importantly, someone who values me. :)
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